Sex and Attraction

June 24, 2016

By censoring our sexuality, curbing our desires, or renouncing them altogether, we hand our inhibitions intact to the next generation.” ~ Esther Perel, Psychotherapist & Author

Sex and attraction. Two complicated words that can bring up a lot for people.

There are countless stories we have heard and read about and watched where those two things, Sex and Attraction, have gone SO wrong. I mean, there’s a reason why the movie was called “Fatal Attraction”.

And most of us, unfortunately, have stories that we have lived that have caused us to close off our sexual energy.

One of mine happened when I was about 12 years old. I was sitting on the couch watching TV. I was wearing a pair of shorts and had my legs propped up on the couch. My mom came into the room and suddenly screamed “Get your legs off the couch! What are you trying to do? Be sexy?”

So many things rushed into my body in that moment. Shock from the suddenness and volume of her voice. Fear of her explosive anger. Utter bewilderment of what she was angry about.

And shame.

I didn’t know what the word sexy actually meant at that age, but I knew I had done something terribly terribly wrong.

The shame set in. And it did what shame does.

It shut me down.

That shame wasn’t mine. It wasn’t even my mother’s. Or her mother’s. It’s cultural. It’s societal. It’s powerful. It had had the power to shut me down in ways that I didn’t know I had shut down. For years. For decades.

It took a long time for me to be comfortable wearing shorts again. To allow myself to explore my sexuality. I’m still working on being fully comfortable being with my body.

Shame is a force to be reckoned with.

And the reckoning comes in relationship.

Shame is healed in safe relationship ~ and I have experienced what happens when there is a room full of people who welcome your sexuality without shame. People start to come alive and earthed in their bodies. They connect to themselves and to others in a real way. They start to have fun!

If you have even a whisper of a desire to explore this area of your life, David Sutcliffe and I are offering a 2~Day Sex & Attraction Workshop on July 30~31st. We invite you to come experience what it’s like to have this essential part of you deeply supported in a non~judgmental, safe space.


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